Vogue? Yes Please!

I have not blogged lately because I am overwhelmed and a little upset with myself...why am I having such a hard time leaving the consumer life-style behind?
I am a bit of a whiner, so forgive this rant...I am aware that there are people starving and I am prayerful everyday that God would intervene and give me opportunity to assist those in need.

                      BUT can I still love my Vogue magazine? 

What about an eyebrow wax and hair cut - are those "necessary" expenses?  How is it possible to research milk goats and the latest fashions for Fall 2011?  IS that craziness?  Can I unplug from the consumer culture and still care about fashion and how I look?

It is a little embarrassing how much I struggle with this.  I am much too old to focus so much of my attention on how I look, right?  Is this a cultural thing - to strive for beauty and style - or is it a function of the media and advertising agencies?  And how does this jive with the global poverty crisis?  It makes me furious that an intelligent woman is advocating for her beliefs and media outlets comment on her clothing...but don't I do the same thing?

We are programmed to filter everything through how a person appears - I want to stop that - WHOLEHEARTEDLY, but is it hypocritical to want to be fashionable at the same time? 

Fashionable Woman in Suit

How do girls that live in a single wide trailer dress?  Should I wear flannel and denim with work boots?  Or is it wrong that I want Egyptian cotton - 800 thread-count sheets on our used full size bed that was purchased for $20 at a garage sale? 

Please pray as I face these issues.  I want to live a life that is honest and genuine - where my values are expressed in all areas of my life.  I do not struggle (not too much) with reducing what we have - it is necessary. But I am struggling with WANTING - I want a new fall wardrobe and cut/color and an eyebrow wax and a mani/pedi - does an authentic woman, follower of The WAY, conscientious world citizen still WANT as much as I do?

I  no longer crave the big house and new car - but I do love to shop and get a contact high from cashmere and worsted wool.  I love the clean lines of a freshly cleaned suit and black leather pumps.  I love french manicured nails and bright red toe nails.  I am not currently purchasing any of these things - but I still love them and want them.

Does this fit into my new life?  Does this fit with heartache for Ethiopian orphans and Sudan? Does this fit with wanting to live on less and focus on God and my family?  Does this fit with wanting to impact the poor?  Can you feed the homeless with french manicured nails and black leather pumps - do these worlds fit together?

So - today, no cute story or inspirational thought - just me spinning my wheels in the mud and trying to figure it out...

Love to you all...