After a six month hiatus...

I have decided to reboot the old blog. Yes, we are still living in our single wide trailer, and yes there are still bugs and mice...less though - we are becoming avid warriors!

I have been amazed at how my flesh has continued to struggle with this transition. How changing our societal status by choice has been so unsettling. So much of my identity was wrapped up in my job and our home. I didn't make much money and had a very simple, conservative home - however we were still "acceptable" because we were somewhat "normal".

Being poor, or identified as poor, by choice is sincerely uncomfortable for everyone concerned.  Don't you have any drive? Don't you have goals for your future? And the zinger for me, "How will this effect your children?"  People we love so much, do not understand our choice. Hell - most days I don't understand our choice - but one thing is sure...I am not spending the next 38 years climbing an invisible ladder that leads to self-centered, self-righteous living.

Mike has started looking for additional part time work - even though he puts in more than 40 hours a week at a job that is not valued by our society and therefore, does not pay.  He has endured harsh criticism by the well meaning, and has been virtually ignored by those we thought would help. No, this not the ramblings of a bitter wife - just someone who is once again counting the cost.

We continue to slug it out because our hearts have been stirred by the Father.  It is so vital that I remember what got us here. Selfish motives on my part in some ways...less stress, less bills, more time to be a mom...
And now that it is hard - harder than I ever imagined, why are we here? Was this just a mid-life mis-step? No. I still believe that God moved our hearts through His Word, our trusted pastors and my trip to Ethiopia. I still believe we serve a God that is heart broken for the broken and the poor.  And more than ever, I believe the Father reveals Himself in the struggle.

I find peace in knowing that I am engaged in the struggle to know Him and advance His love.  My sister sent me a text the other day reminding me of the final verse shared by our Dad on his last Sunday before he died - Joshua 1:9 - Be strong and courageous...

I will continue forward with courage, in our single wide trailer - I will answer the strange looks and judging spirits with compassion and view it as an opportunity to share how close the Father is to the struggle...

I will continue to fight the fear that chases me with strength and confidence in the One who calls my family out from among the normal to experience Him in a different way.  His Words will be my battle cry to the enemy...we will not stop, we will not falter - I will not be moved.

Your prayers are so appreciated. I pray many blessings on you and yours.